Successful Women in Business

As I have made apparent, I'm in the market for a new career. While I haven't made any definite decisions I'm leaning toward business-centered options. I never thought that my life would lead toward the direction of business woman because I wasn't sure that I was cut out for it. After all I'm a sorority lover who adores children and I am looking forward to flexible work ours to spend time with my family (for now just Russell and me, but we hope to expand someday). Math is not my forte and above all, I've always pictured successful business women to be cut-throat, rigid, cold, authoritative and well you know the other word I'm looking for, and even more than all of those things- not family oriented.

Being in the North Carolina Triangle area, I am privileged to have easy access to two fantastic universities, UNC and Duke, both less than 10 minutes from my front door! It would be silly for me not to take advantage of these two valuable resources while I'm here so over the past week I have attended women's business conferences at both schools. What I found at these conferences has opened my eyes to the world of women in business and left me excited and ready to take the next step!

The women who gave lectures and answered panel questions were not at all frigid, cold or unpleasant. These women were like me! The qualities that they listed or modeled that make for successful business women were as follows: listener, talker, educator, love for learning, encourager, people-lover, strategic thinker, value for family (children or no children), passion for their work, and career balance. These women were at the top of the chain in their careers, CEOs, CFOs, entrepreneurs, bankers, consultants, Executive VPs, Army officers, you name it. Some women didn't even have MBAs and one woman has a very similar education background as me.I like doing a lot of the things that they like to do, our values are similar and they have families!

While these women enjoy being busy, multi-taskers, they all take the time to find balance in their lives. They set work boundaries and take time for their friends, families and hobbies. I heard over and over again, when you don't take time for yourself you burn out and you begin to hate what you're doing. When you don't love your job, you're not successful. This spoke to where I was before I resigned from my previous job. I was drained, uninspired, and not working to my full potential at work at home or in my relationships with others. This is not to say that everything always takes equal time and energy, but the women I listened to have made a commitment to make it work and make it work well.

I have held on to one quote from a panelist: "You can have it all, but you can't have it all all the time." I love this! In order to find fulfillment in your life, you have to believe that you CAN have it all and having it all is different for everyone. The biggest part is that you can't have it all ALL the time...and that's ok! To me this means that working hard doesn't take away from a social or family life. It doesn't mean that in order to have a fulfilling family and social life you can't have a career that you're passionate about that creates success. There are times when your energy and focus shifts more toward one aspect of life than the other but those other aspects that are not at the forefront of focus should never disappear. The shifting balance happens even throughout the day. The woman who said the above quote said that when she's at home, the majority of her focus is on what is happening at home and when she is at work, the opposite is true but nothing ever falls off the scale.

Anne Whitaker from Glaxco Smith Kline shared the 5 Simple Truths for successful business leaders:

P- passion

P- persistence

A- authenticity

R- resilience

C- courage

My favorites were passion, resilience and courage.

Passion: This truth made me look beyond the basics of what I like to do and really think about what I value and what I'm passionate about. Here is my list of passions: children, education, good parenting (funny since I'm not a parent), leadership, creativity, invention, sharing what I know, family time and empowering others. I like this list. I think it is really going to help me in choosing my career moves.

Resilience: The question was asked, "Is resilience a trait, a skill, a process? Her answer was all of the above. The main points of this truth were that you have to be able to bounce back and recover from stress, failure, and overall bad streaks in your day, week, month, year. In order to be able to recover you MUST take care of yourself. Mrs. Whitaker talked about being aware of where you draw your energy. If you have no energy, you cannot be resilient. Some of the places many people draw energy is from their faith/spiritual beliefs, keeping their work concurrent with their values, relationships, focus, physical activity. I think all of these things are important for me to remained focused, energized and resilient.

Courage: This is where I struggle the most. I have a fear of people finding out that I might not know what I'm doing, that I'm not good enough, or that my ideas aren't great. I have to be willing to take risks, make decisions, and be confident in my abilities. Only then will I have courage to dive in and create a successful career for myself. The best quote from this section was "you must overcome fear with knowledge".

My favorite speech came from Mrs. Susan Chambers head of the WalMart People Division (Human Resources). She talked about servant leadership. Usually this leadership style is considered by many to be weak, it's used to talk about people who have submissive personalities and it overall doesn't sound like a successful business leadership style at all. If you really think about what a servant leader is, I think you will find (at least I did) that these are the leaders that I look up to and desire to work for. Really, this is the type of leader I'd like to be! Mrs. Chambers began with an African proverb "If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together". I really think this is the basis for a true servant leader. Here are the qualities she listed:

1. Listen and Then Act- learn the facts and listen to intention before you give feedback

2. Teach Rather Than Tell- be a helper when you're asking someone to do something new or difficult

3. Know The Pride of a Parent- find joy in the success of others on your team

4. Advocate- when you recommend great people, you look great

5. Be Vunerable AND Expect Great Things- this means don't be overly controlling, find the right times to say "yes" and say "no" but don't be a push over. Your team must know you expect only the best.

6. Be Transparent- don't be a liar.

7. Admit Your Mistakes- don't be a liar.

8. Don't Forget to Thank People- self explanatory

9. Leadership is a Privilege

10. NO ONE IS A SAINT!- you're not perfect just because you're at the top of the totem pole.

The most important point I got from her lecture was that being a servant leader doesn't mean you should fall into the background, be walked all over and be passed up for promotions. Promote yourself while promoting others.

The moral of the story- there are MANY successful women in business that are NORMAL, social, family oriented and I can even be one of them.

I have so much more to say but I will end here!

Mom Came To Town!

My Mom arrived on Saturday evening and Russell and I immediately took her to Guglhupf, our favorite Durham restaurant. We ate out on the patio. Our food was devine and conversation lovely.

Sunday we went to the Sarah P. Duke Gardens. Unfortunately, it was a little chilly and cloudy but the gardens were beautiful. Genna enjoyed running around and stalking birds and squirrels. We followed our walk through the gardens with lunch at Tobacco Road. It's a sports bar with more t.v.s than you can imagine and yummy homemade junk food. Mom was excited to watch basketball and we stuff ourselves with junk food. As most people love to do, we followed up our junk food binge with a quick shopping trip. It's always fun to try on clothes after eating a plate full of nachos!

Monday morning Mom, Genna and I loaded up and took a tour of the NC coast. our first stop was in Nags Head. The beach was beautiful and their shells were pretty but we weren't impressed with the architecture, restaurants, and retail. Genna got to run free on the beach and it was so cold that Mom and I had to wear extra layers! After a quick tour of Nags Head we visited the Wright brothers' monument and museum at Kill Devil Hill. We trekked to the top of the 90ft incline to see the monument and then we walked out to stand where the first flight occured. It was really cool to think about the history from that place. The Wright Brothers took such a huge risk on their idea that has really changed the world of transportation. We then took a million hour drive through the countryside hoping to experience some different scenery than what we are accustomed to. Come to find out, all of rural America looks pretty similar- farm land, tiny towns, trailer parks and rundown houses mixed in with a few cows, old gas stations, and pretty little churches. The only difference was that rural East NC has more swamp land.

We ended our journey in beautiful historic Wilmington. The meandering highway-less drive was worth it. What a beautiful little city that sits on a river. The historic homes have been well-kept and date back to the 1800s. On the major streets, the sidewalks are lined with signs that give the town's history and all of the important people who contributed to it or called Wilmington home. We stayed in the historic district at a Bed and Breakfast called Camellia Cottage. It's an adorable Victorian style home with surrounding flower gardens and a giant front porch. It's a great dog friendly B&B and we highly recommend it! Our room was comfy and clean and Genna had a special package with treats and Bark magazine. It was Mom's first time to stay in a B&B and I think she might be hooked! We loved the owners who also lived on the property.

We walked to historic downtown for dinner. We were famished after our long day in the car (I'm not sure why because of course I packed lots of snacks...enough to last us at least a week!). Our first stop was a little oyster bar. Unfortunately it smelled like the fish had been dead there a very long time so we opted out and went in search for something less smelly! There was another oyster bar on the corner with no patrons. We asked if Genna could sit with us on the patio but they said they didn't allow dogs. I don't know about you, but if I had a restaurant and no one was there, I'd let a dog sit on my patio so I could make a few dollars! Oh well, we ended up down the street at a little place called the Eat Spot. Yum! It was great! Mom had shrimp and grits with ham gravy and I had sesame crusted tuna on soy glazed carrots with a side of wasabi tater tots! My tater tots were actually mashed potatoes that were mixed with wasabi, coated with panko bread crumbs and then flash fried. I definitely made a happy plate!

The next day I took Genna on a run around town so I could get a better look at the scenery. My goal was to pinpoint my favorite house and a great route to walk with my mom later in the day. I failed, I couldn't pick a favorite house, I couldn't even pick a least favorite house. I LOVED them all! I've never seen a neighborhood with so many consistently beautiful historic homes! I decided that mom and I could walk and any direction and we would find pretty things to see. After my run we made friends with the other guests and their dog, Campbell, on the front porch. We followed that by breakfast- Ricotta pancakes with peach syrup, fresh fruit and raspberry sorbet (ice cream for breakfast?! It worked with our meal). Mom spent a long time talking to Paula (owner) and then we took a stroll around town.

We left historic Wilmington to find a dog park where Genna could run free. She made friends with a bull terrier (Spud Makenzie dog) who later saved her from a run in with an angry golden doodle who was guarding the water bowls. There was some blood but luckily everyone seemed to be ok. We took a quick trip to Wrightsville Beach which is just 15 minutes from Wilmington. It was decided that this would be a future vacation spot. The houses were cute, the restaurants looked yummy, and the community was filled with walkers and runners.

On our last day, Mom and I visited the Greensboro Children's Museum to look at the Edible Schoolyard. What a fun concept! The garden is filled with vegetables, fruits, and plants and tons of educational opportunities for children of all ages. It's such a great way to get a community involved in a common goal as well as teach sustainability. We asked tons of questions and Mom took great notes to share with the Boys and Girls Club Board. Cross your fingers for an Edible Schoolyard in Benton! We followed our tour at Natty Greene's for lunch with our cousin Joel Tull. We had a great time eating and chatting. It was really fun getting to know Joel better. He has a really fun life!

We concluded Mom's trip with one more visit to Guglhupf (our second trip in one day) to get a breadtzle. I'd never even heard of this concoction before. It's like a loaf of pretzel and they fill it with cheese and meat. Yum!! Then we were off to the airport, which unfortunately for Mom turned out to be a very long trip home.

It was so fun to be with my Mom. It's not often that we get to spend so many hours together doing whatever we want. I'm so lucky to have a mom that I crave time with! I look forward to many more mini-vacations with her!

I guess you're wondering why there are no pictures of our adventures. Unfortunately, every time we left the house I left the camera...typical!

...and that's all!

Spring Break 2K11

Russell and I just arrived home from a fabulous trip to Grand Cayman. We had 3 days to ourselves and we shared 3 days with Russell's parents and we had a blast the whole time. Here's a rundown of our week:

Wednesday: we woke up bright and early (except there was nothing "bright" about 3am) and the first leg of our flight took us to NYC. "You must be mistaken" you might say. "Grand Cayman is south of Durham, NC not North". But no, apparently this was a normal flight to take if you wanted to get from RDU to Miami, FL. Our flights were uneventful and we arrived in the mid-afternoon in Cayman where we quickly learned how to drive on the left side of the road and use round abouts. Russell has been to Cayman many times but he's never had to fend for himself....let's just say there was lots of laughing and screaming for our lives as we made it to the condo. Mr. Rusty and Mrs. Fran have done a fabulous job renovating the condo and it's adorable. We had a perfect view of the ocean! We quickly went to the grocery store which was our first indication that the Cayman Islands would not be a "cheap" vacation. We spent twice the amount that we spend at Costco and got half the amount of food...oh well. We ate well while we were vacationing! We ate dinner at Pappagallo, a cute Italian restaurant with and island theme. Apparently, there are MANY Italians in Grand Cayman because there are yummy Italian restaurants everywhere!

Thursday: We had a cooking day. We learned how to dissect a coconut and experimented with recipes from our honeymoon. We had coconut banana pancakes and we also made coconut oatmeal cookies. The pancakes were unfortunately mediocre but we had a ton of fun making them! The cookies were outstanding and VERY easy to make. The key is the fresh coconut. Here's the coconut oatmeal cookie recipe below:

Taveuni Palms Coconut Oatmeal Cookies

1 cup flour

1 tsp baking powder

¾ cup brown raw sugar

½ cup shredded coconut (fresh is key, see coconut dissection below)

½ cup rolled oats

1 tsp vanilla essences (extract)

1 egg

½ cup vegetable oil

First mix all dry ingredients in a bowl, then slowly add egg and add vanilla essences into the dry ingredients. Slowly add oil for the right consistency until all wet. Roll one teaspoon full in cookie tray and flatten with a fork. Bake until golden brown. Remove the cookie from the tray as soon as the tray comes out of the oven.

Here are pictures from our coconut

dissection:

For lunch we walked to the Ritz Carlton and had a fruit plate and fish tacos which were good but not remarkable. Our walk was about 3 miles down and back and was a much needed bit of exercise For dinner we had samosas, another Fijian recipe. Russell manned the roti making (he's gotten to be an expert) and I made the potato, onion, and bean mixture. We accompanied the samosas with guacamole and it was scrumptious!

Friday: We had coconut banana french toast and it was FABULOUS! We followed breakfast by some beach reading and then a trip downtown. I can't say that I ever want to visit downtown Cayman again. It's pretty gross actually. Tons of cruise shippers shopping in tourist traps, many of the people were rude and tacky. If nothing else, we observed some reasons why people might not like frat boys or Americans in general. We did see some pretty jewelry at exorbitant prices. Later in the day we tried to take a run but it was during rush hour and there aren't many sidewalks so between sucking car fumes and dodging cars we got in about 2 miles. Instead, we walked the beach and the scenery (and air) was much more beautiful! We finished our evening at a Peruvian restaurant called Agua. We loved it and we met a very nice couple that had been vacationing in Cayman for 2 weeks. They were so nice AND they gave us their bottle of wine bec

ause they got sick of waiting for their table...an added plus for us :) We had cevichi, short ribs, and some really yummy fish. Great atmosphere, friendly wait staff- we highly recommend Agua!

Saturday: We began the morning with a LONG kayak adventure from our condo to the furthest point of the island that we could see. The shore makes sort of a crescent shape so we kayaked to the point of the crescent. The trip out to the point was smooth sailing, er, paddling and we rode some waves, leisurely paddled, and saw a giant iguana on the shore. The trip back was a bit of a different story. The wind was blowing against us and we had to paddle our hearts out to get back to shore. At one point we felt like the harder we paddled, the further away from the shore we became. Luckily, that was just an illusion and we made it back safely and tired! We then quickly cleaned up and headed to the airport to pick up Mr. Rusty and Mrs. Fran. As expected, the rest of the day was spent eating and relaxing. We had lunch at Full of Beans, a coffee shop with great salads and sandwiches and dinner at Luca, an Italian restaurant which was also outstanding!

Sunday: We ate french toast again followed by more relaxing. We had a late lunch of curried fish tacos, fried cassava, and homemade coconut basil pesto. Here are some pictures of our spread:

We visited Edwin Bozeman, Fran's first cousin who has a place down the beach, where we had a bit of a Memphis cocktail hour before dinner. It was nice to meet new family as well as Memphians that I hadn't met before. Cocktail hour was followed by dinner at Eduardo's, yep, another Italian restaurant! I'm sure you may be concerned at the amount of Italian we've been eating in Cayman but don't fret- they are all very seafood based and you can rest assured that we ate PLENTY of fish :)

Monday: This morning we had homemade banana muffins. They were pretty good but I'm going to stick to my original banana berry bread recipe and switch things up by baking it in muffin tins instead of loaf pans. We had a scrumptious lunch at The Great House which has been on the island for a very long time. It has very yummy food and beautiful views of the ocean. We followed lunch with a trip to the hardware store. This wasn't just any hardware store. This is like a Bed Bath and Beyond combined with a Lowes! Russell and I had fun exploring and we helped Mr. Rusty and Mrs. Fran stock the kitchen with a few new appliances and tools! Later in the day Christopher arrived. We were sad that we only overlapped a day and a half with him but

we made the most of our time together! We had dinner at Neptunes, another Italian inspired restaurant, where we sat on the patio right next to a large, akward statue of Neptune himself. Here's a picture...feel free to laugh:

Tuesday: This was our last day of vacation so we decided to make the most of our trip! Russell and I woke up early (I forgot to tell you that I slept in until at least 9 every morning...unbelievable) around 8 and took a bike ride to the turtle farm that also included an estuary. You're going to love the pictures that follow. We had a great time exploring and I LOVED holding all of the turtles!

When we got home, we cooked lunch for everyone: leftover curried fish, cassava fries, pesto, grouper, black beans, guacamole, and salad. Here's where a kink in our plan came in- while cutting the cassava I say to Russell "Hmm, I smell rat poisoning". He suggests that I google that and I find that raw cassava contains cyanide, to be exact, enough to kill a cow. Yum. Healthy. Some cassava roots contain more cyanide than others, and apparently this one had a lot. After much reading I decided that as long as I cooked them well the cyanide would go away and we would be fine. We cooked the fries until they were very well done. Everyone tasted them and liked them but Russell and I were paranoid and threw them out because we were sure that we still tasted cyanide and feared that we were killing our family. Moral of the story- be careful when you cook cassava! Lunch was followed by a trip on a Captain Marvin cruise boat that took us to Sting Ray City and snorkeling. Captain Marvin is now 94 and he has 14 children. He no longer takes the boats out but he greets everyone when he arrive back and shore. When Russell was little, he took many cruises with Captain Marvin himself! We took a tourist photo op to get our picture made with him. You'll see great pictures below:

We ate our last dinner at Calypso where we had outstanding appetizers- ceviche with tomatoes and lime and sushi grade tuna spring rolls YUMMY! We finished our dinner with sticky toffee pudding (I must learn to make this soon) and shortbread crust filled with dark chocolate ganache...SO GOOD!

Wednesday: Bright and early airport trip again! Our flights were mostly unremarkable except for the man who sat by us on the way to Miami...he wasn't sure about personal space and casual conversation rules meaning he thought it was fine to give us back handed hits on the legs to get our attention followed by discussions of politics and social issues including homosexual rights and Nathan Bedford Forest. Good thing Russell and I are tolerant people.

Goodbye February, Hello March!

Well, I've officially failed my New Year's resolution to blog weekly. Surprising? No.

Here's a quick update of what's going on in my life (to be read like the introduction to Glee).

...I spent most of February winding things up at work which meant a backlog of filing (probably the most time consuming thing I've ever had to do) assisting (and doing a terrible job) with planning for KKG Xi Province Meeting in Tuscaloosa Alabama which was a success thanks to all who worked so hard (I totally slacked although gave it all I had at the time) where upon arrival it was snowing and sleeting which caused a bit a chaos but we finished out the weekend strong and I was re-elected for another term as PDC, that's two more years (I'll be 28 when my term is up, ah!)...big breath...Russell and I spent 20 uninterrupted hours together on a staycation that was a blast, after much deliberation and decision tree making, Russell accepted his summer internship at WalMart, along with my team I planned the silent auction for Fuqua's MBA Games benefiting the Special Olympics of North Carolina which meant lots of emails, phone calls, item pick ups, begging, pleading, delegating, dealing with a few mean people...big breath...and countless hours of organization that lead to a successful event raising over $38,000 (silent auction alone $18,000), and finally a quick trip to Memphis to see a portion of the Bloodworth family spent honing my multitasking skills, diaper changing, breakfast, dishes, building dinosaurs, reading books, dressing, rocking, playing, seeing friends, closing on my house (I'll miss you Bluff Rd), and hanging out with my mom and in-laws.

And that's what's been happening with me.

Whew!

Now we're in March and I feel like a new, more relaxed woman. I am working on living in happiness and enjoying what each day brings. I'm back into yoga again, I'm not waking up until 7am, and if my list still has items to be checked off at the end of the day, I'm trying to focus on what was accomplished and not what is left to do.

Russell and I will be spending the weekend in Atlanta celebrating the marriage of Russell's childhood friend, Michael and following that, we'll be headed to Grand Cayman to soak up some sun and stuff our faces with yummy food!

I'm continuing to explore career opportunities which takes up a lot of my thinking time these days. I'm currently considering going back to school to get my MMS (Masters of Management Studies) at Duke, which is sort of like getting a mini MBA. I'm still considering a different direction in speech pathology as well as event planning and a host of other options. I'll be excited when I pick something!

Here are some pics of the last month...

Our adorable room at King's Daughters Inn for our staycation

Here are a couple of auction prep photos... We had approximately 260 items in our silent auction!

Here's Baby Christopher having a snack and playing trains.

Here's William builing obstacle courses for his trains.

New baby Parker, sleeping. He's adorable and has red hair. I'm a bit partial to the red heads of the family :)

William and I made burger cookies out of candy. They were really cute but they didn't taste so great!

and that's all!